Sunday, May 29, 2005

I went to the doctors on Friday. Thursday was pretty bad so I booked an appointment. My back was hurting whenever I coughed and I was losing my voice. Friday I woke up feeling worse, feverish, headachey, disoriented and I couldn’t even cough anymore. She listened to my chest and said, “Oh, Adri, this is bad, you have fluid all through your lungs now.” I asked her to check my tonsils because I was feeling some swelling there and she said that was because my larynx was infected now too. She said I had to take antibiotics and the only kind she could give me was toxic through breastmilk, so I would need to wean Kira. I begged her to try one I had already had an allergic reaction to that was safe during breastfeeding. I said, well you know the reaction I had with that one wasn’t so bad, let’s try that. Nope, apparently that doesn’t treat lung infections. She reminded me that if we waited any longer I would need hospitalization. OMG, I burst out crying. You are telling me that I have to wean my baby when I am feeling this shitty? Kira is not a delicate little thing. She’s a beast, and I was literally afraid of saying no to her in my time of weakness.

So I got my antibiotics, picked up my kids and came home. I hit the bed and I thought I was going to die. My mother called me and I told her that if the drugs did not work by morning, I would be going to the hospital, could she drive. I was drowning, there was no more room left in my lungs for air. Thankfully, I was able to cough a bit on Saturday, but I’m still pretty bad. I'm not eating much even when I try because everything tastes like vomit. Tonight I actually had to throw out 1/2 my bowl of ice cream. My boobs are KILLING now.

My kids have been pretty good to me. Even Kira. She isn't happy about our new arrangement, but she seems to have accepted it. She cries herself to sleep in my bed, but doesn't ask for the boobies. My husband is still an asshole, I don’t even want to tell you the bonehead things he has done. I have decided not to fight with him about it until I have gotten my full strength back. Then he’d better start sleeping with one eye open.

I had to miss my high school reunion, but before I left for the doctor's on Friday, I made sure to remind my girlfriends who were going to say 'hi' for me and to let everybody know how youthful/thin/successful/rich I am these days. And I didn't even have to diet!

3 comments:

Bridget said...

Oh Adri I am crying for you. How long will you take the antibiotics? Poor you and poor Kira too.

Sam said...

Hugs Adri, I really feel for you I hope and pray the meds work. I know you dont want to give up nursing. Hugs.

Wilson Clan said...

Oh hon..so sorry!!!!!! I know that must have been heartwrenching to do..

I so hope you get better soon & knowing how sick you are I want to kick Matt's arse!!!!!!!! And he went auctioning? What is wrong with the man? sheesh..

Ok, I'd better shut up..

((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))